I won't say please
by GoWaitInTheCar
Summary: Kisame tries to figure out his relationship with Itachi. They're not lovers; they're partners in crime. Literally. Why can't Itachi choose him over Madara?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Damn search engines. I found some great fan art of Kisame and Itachi and was like, "Ohhh! How sweet" Now I felt compelled to write a fanfiction. Don't forget to leave a review, please!

I do not own any of these characters.

The unrelenting rain was starting to sting like frozen needles as the wind picked up. Even with their collars up and their hat shielding their eyes, it didn't shield any open spaces that allowed the rain to prick their skin. Itachi lagged behind which was unusual but Kisame knew the Uchiha had been suffering since he woke. He started the morning coughing, the afternoon coughing and now as they walked under the clouded grey sky, Kisame could hear coughing behind him. It was a disgustingly hoarse, wet cough and each time blood covered Itachi's slender hand. Kisame looked behind him at his partner, "Itachi, do you need to rest?"

Itachi did not respond, his pace slowing down. Kisame raised a brow as Itachi let out a body shaking cough that made him hunch over into his hand. Kisame stopped and adjusted his Samehada on his shoulder as he fully faced Itachi. As the cough died down, the rain's pelting was now the only sound. Itachi's eyes met Kisame's as he straightened up, blood dripping into the puddles on the ground from his hand.

"Itachi.." Kisame wanted an answer from him.

Instead the lithe Uchiha passed out but before he could commit to the ground, Kisame's strong arm supported his dead weight with an effortless reflex.

"Tch. Don't die on me now. Sasuke would be disappointed to find out you died before he could kill you." Kisame threw Itachi over his shoulder and looked further down the road. A small village should be up ahead. They would not be able to continue with Itachi incapacitated.

Kisame sat outside on the balcony with his shirt off, staring at Itachi's sleeping face under the covers. The rain was still coming down heavily but it didn't bother Kisame. He enjoyed the feel of rain on his skin. It was soothing. He had stripped Itachi of his wet clothing and wiped the lingering blood from his lips that the rain had not washed away. He had touched Itachi's naked body with familiarity and tenderness, not wanting to be rough with his partner. He knew Itachi was constantly in pain from his disease but always put on a stoic face, hiding any evidence the skilled killer was slowly dying. He tended to shrug off Itachi's impending death that either his disease or his brother would claim but he struggled with it. He would never admit it to anyone but he was a little scared. Itachi was one hell of a fighter, a worthy one at that that even Kisame would admit he wanted to fight to test his own skill. Itachi was about the only person he trusted, his friend even. If he were to die, Akatuski would replace him and move on. Kisame wasn't sure he could accept another partner without bitterness.

Kisame lay on his own bed without a blanket. Since he was a child he preferred to sleep without one, feeling too hot in his sleep to rest comfortably. His eyes were still focused on Itachi. It was late and he still had not woken. Kisame had kept quiet, lost in his thoughts.

"Mada.." Itachi's voice whispered. Kisame sat up on his elbows, listening.

"Madara.." Itachi's eyebrows knitted and he grunted in his sleep.

"Of course." Was all Kisame could say. 'Of course he'd call for Madara.'

Itachi would take off for hours or days at a time, leaving Kisame, his partner behind. He would return with scratches on his back, hickies and bitemark on his inner thighs. Itachi wouldn't reveal anything about what they were discussing but Kisame knew they weren't sparring partners unless with their dicks. Kisame rolled his eyes. Was he angry? A little. Was he jealous? Maybe. Ok, scratch that; he was jealous but why should he be? Itachi and he were not secret lovers, they weren't in a relationship or ever spoke about any 'feelings' they may have one another. What they had was purely sexual release. Traveling together, sexual tension gets pent up and it's not like made a whole lot of money to afford a decent hooker. Kisame would never take a woman by force. He was the Monster of The Mist but he wasn't about to become a sexual predator. It surprised him when it was Itachi who made the first move.

Kisame was irritable. He was horny and he wanted badly to release himself. Itachi had come out of the shower and it was Kisame's turn. But instead of running into the bathroom, he watched his partner walk across the room in nothing but a towel around his waist. The long black hair was gathered to one side and slow drops of water slid down his chest. Itachi suddenly had a small smirk play his thin lips, "Do you like what you see, Kisame? You're staring"

Kisame did not look away, "Ha! So what if I stare?"

"You have an erection." Itachi gave him a rare playful smile, his fingers running through his wet hair.

Kisame looked down at his lap. Sure enough he was pitching a tent. "Ah, fuck."

Itachi stood between Kisame's legs, his slender hands gently massaging Kisame's erection through the material of his pants. Kisame let out a hiss, his eyes closed. Itachi pushed Kisame against the bed and straddled his lap, the towel tossed to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Kisame's hands gripped Itachi's waist. His skin was smooth under his rough calloused hands. He wasn't going to lie; this was exciting and he wanted to fuck Itachi if he was going to be a tease. Kisame wasn't into men, never had been. But damn! Itachi was attractive enough to be a tempting exception. Itachi shut Kisame up when their lips touched.

"Madara.." Itachi's lips whispered out, bringing Kisame back to the present moment.

Kisame rolled on to his side, away from Itachi. He didn't want to look at that face anymore. He started to get even angrier by the minute. Why did Itachi call out for Madara? Why didn't he call out for him instead? He was his partner in crime. Literally. He was with Itachi all the time so why call out for a man who called on him like a dog? Was his Itachi in love with Madara? Wait, 'his'? When did Itachi become 'his'? Kisame forced his eyes shut. 'Go the fuck to sleep, Kisame. Fuck these Uchihas.'

It was late in the night and Kisame kept waking up throughout. He'd sleep for twenty minutes, wake up for ten, and fall back to sleep for another twenty. He was in his twenty minute snooze when a warm body lay close to his chest. He felt gentle pressures on his shoulder, trailing across his neck and along his jawline. Kisame slowly opened his eyes, taking in the darkness of the room.

"You're too old to sleep in my bed like a scared child" Kisame's voice was sleepy still as he raised Itachi's chin to get a look at that beautiful face.

"Well I'm certainly not a child and I don't plan on sleeping any longer for today." Itachi's hand trailed down the defined muscles of Kisame's abs.

Even in the darkness, Itachi could see that sharp-toothed grin. His lips trailed down Kisame's neck, offering a gentle bite before sucking. Kisame let out a moan and whipped Itachi over so that he was on top of the shorter shinobi. Kisame's lips met against Itachi's in a heated kiss. The lingering taste of copper was like Itachi's signature. How fitting for a killer.

The next morning Kisame woke alone. Itachi had moved to his own bed sometime when Kisame fell asleep after they pleasured another. Kisame kept his mouth shut. What was the point? What could he say? They were not lovers, there was no relationship and he wasn't sure how he felt about Itachi intimately.

Two days later..

"I'll be back later" Itachi put on his black cloak.

"Madara?" Kisame almost spat out, an angry bitterness underlining in his tone.

Itachi closed his eyes and nodded once. His hand reached for the door knob, "Stay." Kisame protest made him freeze, his hand barely cupping the knob.

"Stay here with me instead." Kisame's voice wasn't pleading. It was firm. He had panicked and spoke too soon but it was too late to back off. Madara didn't deserve Itachi's loyalty or his body. Neither did he but he'd like to believe he was the better man. If Itachi could choose him, even for one night, he knew it would show Madara he had no claim on Itachi. Kisame had been one for honor and loyalty but he wanted so badly for Itachi to disobey Madara.

Itachi did not look at Kisame. He was undoubtedly considering his choices. But did he really have a choice? If he did not meet Madara, his clan's immortal would come looking for him instead and be angry. Kisame knew about Madara's extra meeting activities he asked of Itachi. His body had proof of their meetings. When Kisame saw a marking that wasn't his own, he'd pull away from Itachi. Kisame's lust suddenly would shut down. This was the first time in all the years they had been partners, the first time since their partnership became sexual, that Kisame asked this of him. He wanted to stay, he really did. He enjoyed Kisame's company over Madara's unnerving manipulative games. He cared for his partner and placed more trust in Kisame than Madara but he had no choice. He never did, did he? Like always, it didn't matter what he wanted. After a long silence, Itachi's hand griped the door knob, "I have no choice. I have to, Kisame."

Before Itachi could close the door after him, Kisame could hear what sounded like 'forgive me.'

Kisame banged the back of his head against the wall, his hand fisting at an invisible stress ball.

"Fucking Uchihas."

Author's note: So what did you guys think? I really wanna hear! I think I might write another one shot for these two once I finish my other fanfictions.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I decided to add on one more one-shot! I couldn't help it. I am totally feeling this pairing. There are some sexual scenes that depict the characters underage so if you are offended, hit the back button now. According to some websites, Itachi was 13-14 when he killed his clan (I thought he was 16. He looked tall for a 13 year old : / ) so in order for these flashbacks to work, it had to be when they were in that age group before Itachi killed his clan. Plus, Madara did tell Sasuke that Itachi had a lover so there you go: Itachi having sex at a fairly young age. It's not ever hinted that Shisui was Itachi's lover but I would love for that to be true.

_Italic_ is flashback with Shisui. Age 13.

_**Bold italic **_is flashback with Madara. Age 21.

All other text, he is in present time with Kisame : )

_The path they knew by heart was one they created in their younger days. Itachi followed behind Shisui as he led the way. He would look back, sneaking smiles at him and each time Itachi's heart got a little lighter. He had not seen Shisui in months and finally,-finally-, they could be alone together. Instead of playing, they did more adult things now, more intimate things since their bodies had changed with puberty. Things that would force their clan to disown them if they found out. Things that a thirteen and fifteen year old boy shouldn't be doing. But shinobi ethics were different than that of the outside worlds. If they were old enough to kill, they were old enough to be intimate. Time had passed since the days they played tag in this very field, experiences of their shinobi lifes aging them beyond any normal teenager should go through. When they got into the high grass, Shisui's rough hand grabbed Itachi's slender fingers and gave a gentle squeeze. Itachi smiled at the gesture, tucking a dark strand of hair behind his ear. _

Itachi's eyes slowly opened. His memories were creeping into his dreams and these were the worst kind of dreams. He cherished what he had with Shisui but he had tucked those precious moments away long ago. It brought pain to his chest and reminded him he wasn't as heartless as he had to let on. He was still human.

Moonlight shone through the trees and lit small flickering squares on the ground below as the wind gently blew. Itachi cracked his back from sleeping against the tree. His long dark hair was not in his usual ponytail and he gently touched the bruised skin of his neck. He squinted at the tenderness. There was still six hours before sunrise and he was two hours away from Kisame. He needed to get back to his partner before sunrise. They had to track down their target and they couldn't waste any more time. His memories kept creeping into his thoughts as he ran.

_**Madara had claimed Itachi's body but he did not have his loyalty or love even now, years later. There was attraction; he wouldn't lie that Madara was a still a beautiful man but that's what he kept telling himself each time his elder violated his body. Madara's hand was around Itachi's neck, his grip tight with each thrust into him. His eyes were closed and Itachi often wondered if Madara was fantasizing about Hashirama. He had tried fantasizing too about Shisui during sex but it wasn't the same. He had only had Shisui's touch to compare but the differences between the two were polar. The sex was less loving, less kisses and caresses, there wasn't a connection, and every attempt to fantasize was jerked back to reality with harsh bites, scratches and strangling. He hated Madara's touch and his manipulative games. He hated Madara.**_

Kisame was fast asleep when Itachi slipped into their room. The blanket was on the floor and Kisame's body was sprawled out on his stomach. Itachi stayed against the door, watching Kisame's strong back rise with his breath. He could still feel Madara's hands on him, and it made his stomach turn. He wanted to rid his body of this ill feeling. Immediately stripping off his clothes, Itachi slid under Kisame's arm and took his index finger into his mouth, lightly sucking. After a few minutes, a sleepy Kisame slid on top of Itachi, replacing his fingers with his lips. Kisame's sharp teeth nipped Itachi's bottom lip. Itachi let out a hiss and gave Kisame a deeper kiss as a reward. Kisame was comfort, a familiar and welcomed body against his skin. Each kiss was cleansing Madara's presence from his mind and body.

_Shishui kissed Itachi's bare shoulder as they lay in the tall grass, in a small clearing. One hand was on Itachi's hip and each time he entered Itachi, a small moan whispered from his lover's lips. Little did they know while they embraced, deeper plots were taking effect that would change their fate. Both would become a martyr for their beliefs. A year from now, this very moment, as they shared passionate kisses, Itachi would stand before three police officers and be accused of murdering his first and only love._ _He had always had self-control but his blood boiled at their accusations. He didn't murder him, no. It was what Shisui asked of him. He missed Shisui with his broken heart. He sometimes wondered if things had been in his favor, if none of this happened, would Shisui and he still be lovers? Would they still share their pacifist ideals or would the shinobi world warp their beliefs? Would they leave Konoha and travel?_ _In another life_, _he wouldn't ever have to know Madara's touch. He would still have Sasuke and perhaps, Kisame and himself would pass as strangers._

Kisame's strong hands stroked Itachi's neck, snaking his fingers into his hair and lifting it out of the way for his lips touch Itachi's skin. The faint bruising of hands was now visible even in the moonlight from the window. Kisame froze, his eyes narrowing at the outlines of fingers that were not his own, smaller in size.

"So is that what you're into?" Kisame raised a brow, eyes finally meeting Itachi's. Itachi shook his head, his hands resting on Kisame's large chest. He could feel Kisame's hands loosen from his hair and slid down to his shoulders. He knew that look too well. Kisame was no longer in the mood. As he got up from the bed, Itachi's hand grasped Kisame's wrist, "Stop running from me."

"I ain't runnin'. I can't stand knowing he touches you. It's disgusting. You always go back to him and that's what pisses me off more. Are you in love with him?" Kisame's voice was rising. His release of emotions got the better of his self-control and even Itachi's eyes widened briefly at his outburst.

"No, I'm not in love with Madara. I have told you before; I have no choice. I can't walk away after everything I have sacrificed for. Do you really think I enjoy his hands on me?"

Kisame's brows rose, _'Sacrifice? What is he talking about?'_

Itachi's voice was low and Kisame strained to hear, "As much as I hate him, my hands are tied. But you are my choice, Kisame. You are one of the very few things I have had a choice in. That in itself is more liberating then you know. You are a small freedom I cherish. When you pull away, I feel disgusted in myself and I know you think the same. I don't want you to think so low of me."

Kisame's breath held in his chest at Itachi's words. 'Cherish, my choice.' It was more than he's ever received from Itachi about how he felt. Itachi kept his emotions to himself, his thoughts to himself and it had been drag to finally get his partner comfortable to be able to joke with him. His heart was still fluttering at his words but it still did not clarify their relationship.

"So is that what this is?" Kisame's large hands gesturing between them, "Sleeping with me is your rebellion?"

Itachi did not answer.

"Look, you have your secrets and that's ok. But tell me what this is between us, Itachi, and be honest. I'm used to rejection"

Letting out a sigh that deflated his shoulders, Itachi asked, "What do you want it to be? You called it my rebellion"

"I'm asking you." Kisame found his shirt and put it on.

"We are partners first and that's all."

Rejection. Flat fucking rejection. Why couldn't he ever get a goddamn chance? Kisame was being honest for saying he was used to rejection. He was but it still stung. Kisame closed his eyes and let out a small chuckle. He felt like a fool. Instead of giving up, his heart was ready to fight. "What if that isn't enough for me?"

Itachi met Kisame's eyes, "It's going to have to be or nothing at all. I can't offer you more. I have nothing left to give another but my body. I am hanging on to that as it is. My death wouldn't be fair to either of us if we took what we have any further. Please understand, Kisame, I don't want to lead you on. Even if we were to take a risk, there's still Madara."

Itachi was right. He had briefly forgotten about the other Uchiha. Letting out a sigh and rubbing his face, Kisame dropped a knee in front of Itachi, taking his hand in his. "Let me be selfish, ok? Fuck Madara. I won't hold that against you anymore but I can't promise I won't be jealous. I care about you and I want this, no matter the risks. You deserve to be happy too."

"Have you listened to anything I said?" Itachi brows knitted in annoyance.

Kisame gave him a weak sharp-toothed grin, "I heard you. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you."

Itachi's heart pained. He let out an exasperated sigh that lead into a small smile, "You're a fool, Kisame." There was no point in arguing anymore. He spoke the truth and Kisame knew the consequences of their actions if they were to allow themselves this 'relationship.' If he understood that, accepted it and still wanted Itachi, there was nothing that could keep Itachi from saying no except his own decision. He slowly became apathetic after he left Konoha. Murdering the hands that raised you has a way of sealing off your emotions but Shisui had kept coming back like a ghost that haunted his heart. He was stupid to allow himself to develop feelings for Kisame. He didn't want to be hurt again, to have to lose another lover but he needed something to keep him here, something he could hold selfishly to himself for once to get him through another day, keep him from becoming a true monster. He wanted Kisame because he cared for him, he loved him but what if his love, what he had left to scrap from the bottom of his heart, wasn't enough? "You ask too much but I will-"

"Shut up." Kisame's lips met Itachi's. Itachi kissed him back with as much passion and for the first time, the way they held each other, the way they kissed, had something more behind it.

The sun was beginning to rise outside as Kisame held Itachi close to his chest, both asleep on the small twin size bed, completely blissfully content.

Author's note: Okay. I'm glad I got this out. They seem OOC but oh well. Fanfictions aren't always in character anyway. Oh Kisame, you're so awesome and loveable. Leave reviews, please!


End file.
